One of the great lesson of life is being able to stand still in the face of discomfort. If we are unable to welcome our uneasiness, then we have no other choice but to fix it, mask it or run away from it. Suddenly we find than our entire life is built around protecting us from pain. Our fears run our life. We begin to make choices based on what will lead to less discomfort. We walk around with a protective wall around our soul. We modify our life and avoid certain experiences, careers, mates, friendships, activities, emotions and situations that might stir up any kind of distress . And so we play it safe, never fully opening to life. And again this is a perfect example of the solution becoming more destructive than the original problem.
Here is a scenario, This wonderful person feels very lonely and is afraid of being and staying alone, so he/ she gets married to the first person who will have them and keep them company. They are no longer lonely, but out of fear and need they married a person that in the end was not a match for them. Soon they have a whole other set of problems, they exchanged being lonely for being miserable. That doesn’t sound much like a deal to me.
The problem with temporary fixes is that they are temporary. So of course the minute you find something or someone that covers up your fears or fills a need or void, then you are ultimately faced with another, more complicated problem which is, how to keep that situation or person in place. At this point the fear of loss comes up. People who are afraid of being broke, of not having enough, who have a deep need for safety, don’t feel any safer and freer once they become rich. They usually never have enough and whatever they do have, they cannot enjoy because they worry about keeping it safe and not losing it or having it taken away from them. In the end, any choice or action that is based on fear can only lead back to fear.
By not staying still with our fears and our struggles and opening our self to the lessons they bring, we are only able to put temporary bandages on them. If on the other hand we can ease into them and not jump into action and cover up mode, we can then get to the root of them and find the freedom that comes from putting down our heavy baggage.
How do we free our self, you ask? By having the courage and patience to stay with whatever comes up. Something or someone rubs you the wrong way, brings up some kind of unease and suddenly you find that can’t wait to get rid of it or run away; that’s great news, that person, situation and emotion is a catalyst for growth and change, a door towards freedom. Stay with it, do nothing. Of course if your hand is on a hot stove by all mean remove it, use good judgment here.
The trick to staying connected and open to turmoil and getting to the root of our discomfort is breathing. Breathe into it and through it as you observe the feelings, sensations and thought flowing through you. That is essentially why we sigh, the body knows instinctively that the breath is a bridge to freedom and the best available tool we have for releasing whatever negative energies comes up.
Breathe up…
Live fully, live joyfully, live kindly.
-ivc-
0 comments:
Post a Comment